do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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