He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Send help, water and tortillas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
