a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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