no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
