if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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