Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
