Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Farmville is her only friend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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