God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
