some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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