I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
