Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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