So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
