Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
