i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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