My liver just broke up with me...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize