yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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