i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
