READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
