All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
