Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
