Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.

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  (248): the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick. http://tfl.nu/f71t
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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  (215): I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex http://tfl.nu/ohto
  Replies (7) Good night (1902) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.

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  (323): that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill. http://tfl.nu/xwdt
  Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.

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  (412): When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career. http://tfl.nu/solb
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (2167)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization. http://tfl.nu/xva8
  Replies (24) Good night (4193) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?

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  (718): If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing? http://tfl.nu/2caf
  Replies (29) Good night (3009) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...

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  (513): First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action... http://tfl.nu/keaf
  Replies (13) Good night (1209) Bad night (6691)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?

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  (716): i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know? http://tfl.nu/fcdy
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (4057)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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  (207): her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did http://tfl.nu/hfoj
  Replies (21) Good night (5387) Bad night (2243)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

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  (610): she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard. http://tfl.nu/kg7h
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (2300)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2832) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.

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  (773): This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real. http://tfl.nu/vkv3
  Replies (3) Good night (639) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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  (573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx
  Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.

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  (716): They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them. http://tfl.nu/wksg
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.

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  (770): One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him. http://tfl.nu/gw4o
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (311)

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