Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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(724): so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca. (412): That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia. http://tfl.nu/lbkk

Replies (84) Good night (2736) Bad night (947)
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(613): View more from Ontario

i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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(613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56

Replies (29) Good night (5944) Bad night (1533)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)

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(303): My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :) http://tfl.nu/qza7

Replies (37) Good night (7270) Bad night (981)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Hookers taste better with whip cream

(816): View more from Missouri

Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

(417): View more from Missouri

Fair enough

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(417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz

Replies (45) Good night (4129) Bad night (1415)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.

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(443): I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval. http://tfl.nu/2acf

Replies (16) Good night (6629) Bad night (1172)
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(718): View more from New York

Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

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(718): Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/eick

Replies (13) Good night (6658) Bad night (1721)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

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(765): Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake. http://tfl.nu/5qrv

Replies (8) Good night (1959) Bad night (1355)
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(+61): View more from Australia

i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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(+61): i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history.. http://tfl.nu/iskw

Replies (9) Good night (2271) Bad night (840)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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(978): If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again. http://tfl.nu/fk6d

Replies (13) Good night (923) Bad night (1221)
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(309): View more from Illinois

well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly

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(309): well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly http://tfl.nu/pg5j

Replies (4) Good night (2518) Bad night (625)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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(864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2

Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (499)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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(202): just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over http://tfl.nu/f4tt

Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (340)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.

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(+61): Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with. http://tfl.nu/73vt

Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (705)
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(301): View more from Maryland

At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions

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(301): At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions http://tfl.nu/y4pr

Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (342)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.

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(586): Called Apple, my penis pics are safe. http://tfl.nu/3w3t

Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (211)

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