I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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