I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize