why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize