I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
