Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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