I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I believe in your delicious
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize