We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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