so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
