She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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