The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
