I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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