Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize