Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
