Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
