Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
