but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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