I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
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She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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