i dedicated my morning wood to you.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
