When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
