we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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