apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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