tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
