1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
