Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
