She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
