Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
