got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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