Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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