a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
