no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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