do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
