How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
