I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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