I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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