did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
