he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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