he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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