Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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