Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
