I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
