Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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