On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
