If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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