I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
last night I used snow as a chaser
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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