Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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