Only a mothe r could love this liver
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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